
	Journal \| Lyrics Below is an archive of the KTG newsletter. To read Robert's Blog, visit Life, the Music Industry and Everything at Blogspot. August 2008 There and Back Again Just Keep Going Man, oh, man, it is good to turn the corner on heartache. I'll always love her, as I do all the women I've been with in my life (oh, yeah, except for that one chick. What did Sam Kineson say? (paraphrased) "People ask me why I never talk about men. It's because a man never MADE ME WANT TO DRIVE MY CAR INTO A TREE!!!!"), but it's great to get past the feeling of loss. Sometimes all you can do is keep going until you see the future unfolding like an open road before you again… The Open Road Driving the 5-6 hours from Los Angeles to San Francisco and the 5-6 hours from San Francisco to Humboldt County, I have a lot of time to think. Some parts of the trip are visually beautiful (the mountains just north of LA, the San Francisco Bay, the Redwood Forests south of Humboldt), some irritating (Santa Rosa, a feeding frenzy of highway patrol cars and the same construction going on as was happening a year ago on the same stretch of highway), some dull (most of the drive on Highway 5 from LA to SF), some moments fun (singing with music or hearing just the right soundtrack at the right moment), some exciting (that last 10 minutes just before I arrive at my destination), some excruciating (when I get drowsy halfway through a 6 hour drive and have trouble snapping out of it). But, as they say, it's all part of the journey. Sometimes when we hit a low spot, we feel like it will last forever. Somehow we forget that it passes and we'll feel good again. And no matter how positive we try to be, we will hit low spots, have days where we're tired, sad, lonely, frustrated, etc. It's the nature of being human. To paraphrase the robot Kryten from the show Red Dwarf, after he was miraculously transformed into a human being: "I'm up and down more often than a pair of kangaroos in the mating season!" Last time I was feeling down, my friend and fellow artist Steve Snelling reminded me that it's all part of the journey… A Little Help From My Friends It's good to have friends to remind you of things when you've forgotten, open your eyes when you have them closed, or just be there when you need someone. Going on a tour, you find out who your friends are. Thanks so much to my partner Jaime and his wife Danielle for their open door hospitality whenever I go through San Francisco, and thanks to Jennifer and Brian for the same in Humboldt County. Thanks to all my friends who came out to my shows in San Francisco, Arcata and Eureka (you know who you are) and thanks to the people who gave me some attention while I was in those towns (including all the great folks at KSLG - John Matthews, Jen Savage, Monica Topping, Mike Dronkers at KHUM, Bob Doran at the North Coast Journal for his nice little piece on me, and Monica Topping for her wonderful spot in Times Standard, Clay Smith at Jambalaya, Jasmin at the Pearl Lounge, The Rubberneckers, Kerosene Kondors and The Broken Scones for sharing the bill in Humboldt, Steve Snelling for putting me on his bill in San Francisco and playing wonderful piano accompaniment, etc.). If you're interested in reading the pieces written about me in Humboldt, you can visit the links below: http://www.times-standard.com/entertainment/ci_10199049 http://www.northcoastjournal.com/issues/2008/08/14/cruisin/ Home Again Home Again Jiggety-Jig If only very subtly, going on tour for even a short week changes me. I come back appreciating my home more. And my comfort zone has expanded a bit, making me feel a bit braver and sure of myself, feeling like I can handle whatever comes along, wherever I may be. Travel changes you. I should do it more. I hope to. There are a couple issues of Arthur Frommer's Budget Travel magazine sitting on my coffee table that I really enjoy reading. I had been thinking of how much I wanted to go to Italy and a couple days later I received my first issue of the magazine in the mail. I have absolutely no idea why I'm receiving it - I didn't subscribe. Is the universe telling me something? Like, you need to go further than California soon. Well, that's fine. I'd love it. Now the universe has to bring me the cash flow to do that! Wishing you both a comfy home and adventurous travels, Robert Kiss the Girl June 2008 NEW SONG AND THOUGHTS Just Believe and Let Love Form This Good Thing Our new song, Good Thing, is about letting life and relationships form the way they're meant to, with faith, trust and love instead of fear and control. It's about letting go and believing that things will work out the way they are meant to for the greatest good, whatever the outcome. " We've got the power baby, so let it flow. Kill fear and doubt and baby, let the good times roll! We don't need control, love. Just believe and let love form this good thing." (Good Thing) How can we do that, living in a cold, apathetic or even hostile universe where nothing has any real lasting value or meaning? Well, if we believe that about the universe, we can't. As Shakespeare wrote, "Aye, there's the rub." Our core beliefs about reality will shape our lives. Einstein said one of the most important questions a person could ask themself is, "Is this a friendly universe?" This is a personal question. It is also a question for an entire book, not a short newsletter. But, as I said, your view will shape your life. The reductionist or materialist view of the universe, where everything could supposedly be broken down to basic, explainable components was a view of classical physics that has been shattered by quantum physics. Ken Wilbur, in his introduction to his book Sex, Ecology and Spirituality talks about how strange it is that anything at all exists, that anything at all is happening. There are two basic views. The first is the philosophy of "oops!", saying the universe is ultimately accidental or random (which goes by many modern names). No matter how mature and sophisticated that view may appear on the surface, they're basically saying, "Don't ask." Wilbur believes this is, in fact, an infantile response to the human condition (see his book for more detail). I now quote: " The other broad answer that has been tendered is that something else is going on: behind the happenstance drama is a deeper or higher or wider pattern, or order, or intelligence. There are, of course, many varieties of this "Deeper Order": the Tao, God, Geist, Maat, Archetypal Forms, Reason, Li, Mahamaya, Brahman, Rigpa. And although these different varieties of the Deeper Order certainly disagree with each other at many points, they all agree on this: the universe is not what it appears. Something else is going on, something quite other than oops…" In my own personal life, I can attest to this. I've mentioned in a past Bandletter my many experiences with synchronicity, where a hidden pattern of reality seems to be revealing itself. There are so many things one could point to: love itself (which doesn't really hold up as a necessary or desirable evolutionary trait). Quantum physics has proven that the universe is not what it appears. What exactly is going on is perhaps a question for philosophers, religious people and scientists. But in our own life, it's a question for us; an important question because that core belief will drive and shape everything we do and experience. Although I may not understand the pattern or purpose, I don't personally live in a meaningless universe. I believe there is something "behind the scenes" that is guiding us, however subtly, toward a world of mutual understanding, empathy, compassion, love. It guides us globally and personally in our lives, but it's up to us to see it, to follow it, to trust it. On a more practical level, we cannot control life ourselves. That is where all anxiety comes from: trying to control what is inherently uncontrollable. But the more I release control, the more I find things seem to work out for the best. (In Chaos Theory, patterns naturally are found to emerge from systems that seem completely random.) " Just believe and let love form this good thing." That's my rather child-like approach to life and relationships (on a good day). Let it be what it's going to be. Stop pushing. Release control. Breathe. Trust in something greater than yourself, even if you're not sure what it is (and despite what they say, no one is sure). I haven't decided on what I believe about many of the important issues that we're told we must decide (especially by organized religion). The older and wiser I become, the more I realize that intellectual answers and rigid beliefs are not the key. The answer we each give is living our lives with as much meaning, as much joy and as much love as possible. What is the meaning of life? How we live our life itself is the answer. I've taken a risk and gone a bit deep in a short amount of space in this month's Bandletter. To balance that out, just so you all know what I'm really about, we're currently recording another new song, which should be released in the next couple of months. It's called 999,999 Girls! And it's about exactly what it sounds like. I'm a single guy living in LA. Yeah, baby, yeah! Of course, those of you who know me personally weren't fooled for a minute. Lastly, I can't state this strongly enough: if you enjoy the Bandletter, if it has any meaning to you, if you have an opinion or story to tell, please write to me. I will personally respond to every email I receive. Peace, Robert Kiss the Girl May 2008 THOUGHTS The Mixed Bag of May - Heartache and Hope This month has been representative of life's mixed bag for me. I've been dealing with the heartache of losing a love from my life. But I'm grateful for the wonderful moments, emotions and memories I gained from it. I also have many other things to be grateful for. That list would include my health and those people close to me and so many other things. It's been a struggle this month because of the sadness and loss I feel to stay focused on what's important. That's always a challenge, but especially so at times like this. I have to have faith in the words of the song Good Thing that were given to me (from wherever lyrics come from) and believe that what happened was the best that could be in the situation at the time. That doesn't mean I won't hurt, but it does mean that what I had and felt and what I now feel is not meaningless. And if there is meaning and if I become stronger (not harder, stronger) and more loving from the experience, then it has immense value. And somehow, that heals the heartache much faster. It's not something bad that happened to me; it's some wonderful experiences and it's part of living life, which helps me grow and become a better person with a bigger heart. And that's what the world really needs, right? I hope to find love again without being closed up, afraid or cynical. I know that is the right path, because even though I feel that this was the love of my life up to this point, it hurts less than many experiences before where I was caught up in my own need and my own desires. Now I realize that whatever love I feel is already in me, whether or not I am in a relationship with someone to express it. And speaking practically, the key is to focus on what I have and to build on that. Then I'll be growing and moving forward and my life will have purpose. If I focus on what I have and am grateful, I'll get more of that. If I focus on what I don't have, there's nothing to build on and I'll get more of that. I hope you are happy and whole and not feeling heartache. But if you are, I hope you can find meaning in it and emerge a more powerful loving person than before. Cynicism and bitterness are for those who are done with life. As for the rest of us, we move forward with an unexplainable hope on life's unpredictable, wonderful journey. Cheers, Robert Kiss the Girl March 2008 THOUGHTS In Praise of Others Someone once said that Heaven is a place where we never stop praising each other. I want to devote some space to praising some fellow creative friends of mine who have accomplished some great things and deserve (as we all do) to be appreciated. Perhaps some of them can be of service to you or have something that will enrich your lives (click on their name or link to visit their site, if one is provided). Jaimeson Durr: My partner in Kiss the Girl and friend of many years, Jaime is a gifted music engineer (and guitarist) who has worked for several other major artists, such as Dan the Automator, the Grateful Dead, Franz Ferdinand and Train. Steve Snelling: singer/songwriter and jazz pianist extraordinaire. Steve plays in and around San Francisco. He just finished the work of a lifetime: a brilliant jazz piano instruction book (I'm using it just to learn as a beginner pianist). I expect to see him playing at Yoshi's jazz club in the not-too-distant future. Steffon Moody: A fantastic performance artist, owner of Chameleon Performance. Also, a gifted visual artist and singer/songwriter. Taylor Grant: Taylor is a writer who has worked for many years writing for TV and film. He now has his own copywriting company, Copywriter Connection, and has clients too many to mention in every media. He recently finished his first independent horror film called the Muse, for which I was lucky enough to be at the premiere at a major theater in LA. It was delightfully gruesome, and parts of it scared the crap out of me. Maddy Curley: Maddy is an accomplished actress and gymnast who was one of the girls on Jeff Bridges' character's gymnastic team in the movie Stick It. She's also one of my favorite swing dance partners. I expect to see her on a regular TV series or in another major movie soon. Danny Ponickly: Danny is an amazing dancer and teacher, focusing mainly on swing and ballroom. He recently was the main dancer for the Enchanted segment of the Academy Awards. He was one of the teachers in the movie Mad Hot Ballroom, and is bringing swing and ballroom dancing to LA area schools, to teach our future young ladies and gentlemen the wonderful art of dance (not to mention manners and social skills). He and Fred Astaire have taught me most of what I know about dancing. Michael Szeles: My younger brother, the best actor and playwright I know. He's now editing his first independent film, which he wrote and directed. As an actor he has been in films that have been featured in several major independent film festivals, as well as commercials for the National Geographic Channel. His one-man performance in the play Goats in New York City won him critical praise from the New York Times and a nomination for Outstanding Solo Performance from the New York Innovative Theater Awards in 2006. I'm hoping he'll clear his mental schedule enough to co-write something with me some day soon. Four of my gifted fellow fiction writers, members of the Mid-Wilshire Writer's Group in Los Angeles and all published authors. Please check out their wonderful work: Rachel Olivier: www.puttputtproductions.com, www.pennoir.org/rachelolivier.html Will Molinar: http://www.myspace.com/willmolinar Chandra Rooney: Good Karma Reviews, Dreaming in Red (blog) Christina Rundle: http://christinarundle.blogspot.com/ Dan Silver: Dan is an accomplished guitarist (who has performed with Kiss the Girl) and composer, apart from being a successful music-licensing agent. (http://riptidemusic.com) Kumar Desai: Kumar is the best web design programmer I know (he's worked with my design company Portal Design). Carrie Ybay: A talented designer and programmer whose help with my author site and other sites has been invaluable. John C: An amazingly gifted stand-up comic, John has appeared on numerous TV shows and is almost constantly touring around the world. Larry Batiste: Larry is former president of the NARAS (the Grammy Academy) San Francisco branch. He is a gifted vocalist and producer who has worked on far too many records to mention here, including some platinum and gold albums. KTG has had the honor of mixing some songs featuring Larry's vocals. Alan Beatts: Owner of the wonderful bookstore Borderlands in San Francisco, Alan Beatts (and manager Jude Feldman) have been very supportive of my writing career and given me invaluable feedback. Samantha F. Grant: Certified Nutritionist and Homeopath in Los Angeles Dennis Piper: Dennis is an incredibly gifted painter, poet and writer living in San Francisco. Tom Long: An incredible performer, writer and director/producer of the professional theater company Friends of the Groom based in Cincinnati, Ohio. Rachel Brice: Absolutely the most original, beautiful, talented belly dancer I've ever seen (she once danced at a Kiss the Girl show), Rachel travels the world and has been a member of the Belly Dance Superstars and toured with Lolapalooza. Anje Vela: Creative producer and promoter, Anje has been instrumental in getting attention for the West Memphis Three by producing countless benefit shows. She is also a massage therapist. Steve Szeles: My older brother, the gifted doctor and surgeon. Also a talented artist. Mary Cross: A talented voice-over actress and actress based in NYC. Mazelle Lolmaugh: Mazelle is one of the most gifted poets and visual artists I know. I'm patiently waiting for her to make her work available to the public. Mike Caito: A talented graphic designer and illustrator living in St. Louis. Jennifer Yeung: Wonderful singer/songwriter and gifted classical pianist. Shawn Cornwell: A talented copywriter and long-time friend, based in Hawaii. Paula van der Zwaan: Talented actress and dancer in the SF Bay area. Andy Korn: Brilliant drummer. Has played with Kiss the Girl, Ronnie Spector, Joey Ramone and others. Now, I'm sure I'll realize I left someone off! If you're a close friend and I have, please let me know and accept my apologies. Wishing everyone nice spring weather, new hope and new happiness! Robert Kiss the Girl January 2008 The Secret of Giving and Receiving The Universal Source of All Visible Wealth and Apple iPods It was a couple weeks ago and I was in a bad cash flow situation. After a hike on an especially warm day in LA, I was sitting at my computer in my shorts, which I hadn't worn for months. I was reading about a benefit for an LA poet who is seriously ill and doesn't have health insurance. The benefit cost $10 and I wanted to go, but was in such a bad temporary financial state that I balked at the idea. A few minutes later, I happened to reach in one of those long side pockets of my shorts and found a $10 bill. Well, I didn't need to be hit over the head. Here was the universe handing me exactly what I needed. However, my sense of lack made me think of keeping the money for my own necessities. The next day, my financial situation got even worse due to an overdue bill that was even larger than I'd remembered and an unresolved business situation that was preventing me from collecting money from a client. It was a stressful morning, and I went out that afternoon for a hike to try to banish my worries and focus on abundance despite the appearance of lack I was experiencing. During my hike, I focused on writings my Wallace Wattles about poverty being only an appearance and the reality being abundance. And I thought of Robert Collier's quote saying, "The spiritual source of all visible wealth is never depleted. It is right with you always and responds to your faith in it and your demands on it." By the time I headed home, I was feeling a bit better, though not exactly abundant. I happened to pass through the neighborhood of the bookstore that was holding the benefit for the poet, and the time happened to be about fifteen minutes before the benefit started, so I immediately remembered. I was torn. The universe (or God, depending on your beliefs) had given me $10 in no uncertain terms, but I was in such financial need that I felt it was money I needed myself. And I knew that if I was going to give, I needed to feel good about it. It had to be giving out of a full heart; otherwise it would be sacrifice, which leads to resentment. Then I remembered what is said in The Secret, that when you feel that you don't have enough to give, start giving. As I passed within a block of the bookstore, it took all my strength to turn the wheel in the direction of the bookstore and try to find a parking space. I knew this was a real test of my faith, of my belief in the universal source providing for me and it wasn't easy. I had trouble finding parking, but knew by this point that if I didn't go to the benefit, I would be disappointed with myself. I finally found a parking spot and went to the poetry benefit. After I left the benefit, I walked to my car thinking, "Ok, I did this in faith that the universe will provide." I stopped by the grocery store on the way home. As I checked out with my paltry $8 worth of groceries, the cashier told me, "You won a free iPod!" I was rather startled. He sent me down to another checkout lane and they gave me a free iPod, as part of a promotion which I didn't even know about (they gave away 200 only at that store randomly over the weekend). I walked out with my iPod feeling almost embarrassed. If the $10 in my pocket wasn't clear enough, this was like cold water in the face. It was a wonderful gift from the source of all abundance that really strengthened my faith in a time when I needed it. Financially things turned around in a major way soon thereafter. Sometimes it's hard to believe in abundance when we see the appearance of poverty around us, but what we believe about ourselves and the world will eventually shape our reality. Ugly Betty Synchronicity A couple nights ago, I stopped by 7-11. As I was walking out the door, I got the sudden impulse to quickly browse the magazine covers and went back in. I scanned the covers for just a few seconds. One of the covers I saw had two people from the show Ugly Betty. I didn't see anything about any other shows that I remember. I remember thinking how the girl would, of course, be pretty if made up differently. The next day, my licensing agent informed me that our song Alive would appear on an episode of lovely Betty, which aired that night! If you stay awake and aware, you will see signs that we have access to some knowledge of how the universe works. Synchronicity is two things or events that have a shared meaning without any apparent outward connection. It is one of those signs that there is some underlying pattern to reality. When I first moved to LA, I experienced it a lot. I've been working toward evolving my beliefs, and going through a hard time during the holidays pushed me even further towards a renewed spirituality and dedication to being in touch with the power, knowledge and abundance that is equally available to all of us. We don't always get signs, but we don't always need them. Changing our habitual thoughts will transform our lives. It's hard work, but well worth it. The signs are just gifts to help us on the way. I would heartily recommend works such as The Secret (especially as a simplified introduction to these ideas) and the works of Wallace Wattles, Charles Haanel, Robert Collier, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and modern authors like Jack Canfield and others that contributed to The Secret. Whatever your beliefs, there are powerful ideas in these works that are common to many of the greatest philosophers, businessmen, thinkers and religious traditions that can help you to realize your dreams of a fulfilled, happy and meaningful life. Wishing you all abundance, peace and purpose in the New Year! Robert Kiss the Girl December 2007 The Beauty of Everyday Things End of the Year 2007 was a great year for me. But the end of this year has been difficult. There have been some wonderful things, but it has also been a time of loss and sadness. Whenever I feel sad or when things don't appear to be going the way I hope, I try to be grateful for what I do have in my life. But sometimes even that is difficult. I try to shift my emotions, but I still may feel that churning in my stomach from anxiety about what may or may not happen, that empty place created by the loss of my friend or my lover, the weight of feeling all alone even though I know that we are all connected and never really alone. When appearances are overwhelming I am tempted to turn inward and hide within myself but that only leads to self-pity and despair and serves to crush me further. So, I try to turn outward to seek connection to the world around me. And the easiest way to do that is to open my eyes to the beauty of everyday things. October 2007 Happy Halloween! Hope everyone has a crazy, fun Halloween. I had a blast at the Lindy Groove Costume Ball in Pasadena (Swing dance party) dressed as Green Lantern. The rest of the Justice League just happened to show up (not planned) and we entered the costume contest and got to the finals. I also learned and participated in a recreation of the zombie dance from Michael Jackson's Thriller video. I know, I can't believe I did it either. Especially when we had only one hour to learn a very challenging dance routine. I wish I had more pics but all I've got so far is the one with me (Green Lantern) and my friend and dance partner Maddy (as Will Ferrell's character Chaz from Blades of Glory). Honestly one of the most enjoyable evenings of my life, and definitely the best Halloween ever. Hope yours is memorable as well. Until next time… Robert (aka Green Lantern) Kiss the Girl July 2007 I Wrote These Songs For You I wrote these songs and produced this album for you. Yes, you, if you're reading this and you've ever experienced love, loss, hope, despair, courage, fear and any of the other emotions common to us all. If I created this only for myself, I wouldn't need to share it. Once the album was finished, then it was really no longer mine. It became yours. I have no interest in self-aggrandizement. My only purpose with the music and this band letter is to reach out to others and hopefully communicate something that will help you feel less alone and more alive. I am a writer, but I don't think I could say what I'm trying to say any better than Novelist/Boxer Floyd Salas: " All considerations of language, of ideas, of symbols and metaphors serve only one function: to convey the soul of a living being to the soul of other living beings and in that process break us out of our isolation and loneliness and put us in touch with the universal spirit." That is the purpose of my music. That is the purpose of Kiss the Girl's album, Touch. So why are we selling it, not giving it away? So that we can afford to continue to create music that will continue to inspire, encourage and entertain you. It's a small price to pay for the hours you'll spend enjoying the music. And it will encourage us to see that we aren't wasting our time, spending hours, day, months, years, trying to create something that will help communicate the fact that we are not all separate as it appears. We are not alone. By all means, if you are honestly in such a bad financial situation that you can't afford to pay a few dollars for the album, write to me and I will send you a free copy (if your situation changes and you can send money later, great). If you haven't purchased a copy of our album, I ask that you listen to the samples on our site, and if you enjoy them, then buy a copy of our album from CdBaby or ITunes. And please write to me and let me know if it has in any way made you feel less alone and more alive. It's the reason we're doing this. Thanks for listening, Robert Kiss the Girl June 2007 PATIENCE AND GRATITUDE I try to write something that will actually be relevant to people's lives in this bandletter, as opposed to just making it a self-promotion vehicle, or a blog concerning the details of recording or being on the road or how the drummer got drunk and arrested or other such trivia. And I try to write honestly as I can. So, I'll tell you I've been really impatient about things for the last month. And when I'm impatient, it's hard to stay in a state of gratitude for all the wonderful things in my life. I once told someone close to me that my definition of patience was: The hope for things not yet received with gratitude for what you already have. I've needed a big dose of patience every day for the last month. I could choose to focus on the difficulties and frustrations, such as living physically far away from the woman I love and seldom getting to see her, or not getting as many or as big licensing deals as I want yet, etc. Instead, I'm going to put my focus on all of the things in my life that I should be, and when in the proper frame of mind, am grateful for. Without getting too specific (to guard the privacy of people close to me), here's a very partial list: I'm grateful for the wonderful woman that has come into my life and the love we share. She is a joy and a miracle and I still can't believe I met her and that she loves me. I'm grateful for my partner and friend in Kiss the Girl, Jaime, who's so much fun to work with and who helps me create the music we share with the world. I'm grateful for my family who are still alive and love me and believe in me. I'm grateful for my friends who have stood by me, love me and support me without judging me. I'm grateful for all of the people (especially you if you're reading this!) who enjoy my music and support Kiss the Girl and for all the exposure we've received from the friendly, supportive people in radio, film and television and the rest of the music industry, including our online publicist Ariel Publicity, our licensing agent Riptide Music and our online distributor IDC. I'm grateful for my talent – for my songs, stories, design, writing - for any hope or inspiration or entertainment I can share with the world. I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for the wonderful place I live, for the delicious food I enjoy each day, for books, music, film, culture, romance, swing dancing, the beauty of nature and all the sensations I experience each day. I'm grateful that I've had a chance to share this with you.Hoping you feel gratitude for all you have and patience for the things you do not yet have, Robert KTG May 2007 LONG DRIVES AND LOTS OF LOVE My mini Solo Acoustic Tour was a wondrous thing. The value of leaving familiar, comfortable surroundings hit me on my drive up to San Francisco as I passed the windmills that lie just southeast of the Bay Area. Seeing different vistas in a different light can ironically evoke feelings of nostalgic joy. I became more aware of the beauty of each moment as I was taken out of my familiar patterns and surroundings. I spent time visualizing the tour going well, but what I experienced was far more than I had imagined… SAN FRANCISCO: Beyond Expectations In San Francisco I stayed with my good friend and fellow singer/songwriter and also jazz pianist extraordinaire, Steve Snelling. I would be sharing the bill with him for the show in SF. The day before the show was spent in Hyde Street Studios with my KTG partner Jaimeson Durr as we cut drums for two new upcoming tracks with the super-talented drummer Andy Korn, which went swimmingly. The next day - the day of the show, I was told some negative things about the venue Steve and I were playing. I already had thoughts that the venue might be less than ideal, and this talk produced further doubts in my mind. I began to think of possible solutions to the problems, which only made them grow in my mind. I realized that I was giving my energy to the wrong thing, so I shifted my thoughts to picturing only the ideal, giving no thought to any problem or obstacle. Upon arrival at the venue, I saw that it was small, noisy and the vibe seemed wrong. The employees seemed unaware of our show and even asked that the volume be kept down since last time they had trouble hearing drink orders (ah, the glory of being a rock star!). Despite the less-than-ideal environment, I simply remained calm and focused my energy on my upcoming performance and talking with people. By the time I went onstage, the environment had improved a bit, but was still not the best. I went up onstage and began my first song. The café, now almost full of people, seemed to go completely still. As I ended the first song, the place erupted in enthusiastic calls and applause. The venue had completely transformed. The audience was completely rapt in attention as I played my set. There was a generous flow of energy between the audience and me. I talked and joked spontaneously and was able to turn everything that happened – even mistakes or ambient noise – to my advantage. I played well, with passion, almost overwhelmed with emotion at times from the positive energy, the love and support I felt in the room. Steve Snelling and I finished off the night with a set of jazz standards that were very well received. It was, unexpectedly, one of the most satisfying shows I've ever played. Afterward, I got to party with my KTG partner Jaimeson, his fiancé Danielle, and some old friends, including my friend Reese, and my close friend Steffon from the Seattle area whom just happened to be in San Francisco and came to my show. I would see him again a few days later to play a House Concert in his home. We simply had a blast that night. San Francisco was great, but Humboldt County a few days later was simply extraordinary, a trip that will change my life forever… HUMBOLDT COUNTY: A Trip That Changed My Life Humboldt County – the Arcata/Eureka area – is a beautiful part of northern California. I had played with the band and solo there several times at a club and at large house parties held at my friend Scott's parents' place. I always have a great time in Humboldt. The surroundings are beautiful and the people are friendly and generous. I stayed with my lovely friend Jennifer and also hung out with an awesome cowpunk band called The Rubberneckers who were sharing the bill with me at the Pearl Lounge in Eureka. I got to rehearse with The Rubberneckers as we had planned a tribute to the band Old 97s where I would join them onstage at the show during their set. I was treated with such appreciation and respect by everyone in Humboldt, starting with John Matthews and Jen Savage at the commercial rock station KSLG. I had appeared on John's show before and it was a vibrant, lively discussion, and this time we continued where we left off. Check the shows or news section on our site or click at the bottom of this newsletter for a link to the interview. Jen's show was also great (but I know she didn't record it!), and they and the station were really supportive in having me on and talking about the show at the Pearl Lounge. KSLG is one of the best commercial rock stations left in the country, and I'm really honored that Kiss the Girl is on there. They also sent me over to KHUM where DJ Mike was broadcasting live from the opening of a huge organic food store. Clay from The Rubberneckers met me there as he had just heard me on KSLG that morning and they had mentioned that I was on my way to the KHUM show. What ensued was a pretty hilarious interview that would have had Spinal Tap overtones if not for the fact that we were too busy laughing at ourselves, talking about the experience and about Clay's joyful rediscovery of alcohol after five months sober. I played percussion as Clay borrowed my guitar to sing one song, which he then handed back to me, refusing to play more as it was way too early for him. I then played a few songs. During the gentle, moving song Alien Skin, we all laughed as we could hear an employee calling out a price check. Mike from KHUM was great and we had an awesome time. I would love a recording of that as well, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist. Infinitely sad. The Pearl Lounge show was fantastic. Pearl Lounge is a New York (or LA) style cosmopolitan club in Eureka run by a young woman named Jasmin, who's trying to add an extra touch of sophistication to the town. Coming from living in San Francisco and LA, it was totally my kind of place. The Rubberneckers brought in a sound system that sounded really nice. The place filled up with people, including many familiar faces, including my friend Scott and his family, the KSLG crew, and my close friend Jennifer, her lovely sister Heather and Jenn's friend Virginia who was gracious enough to let me stay with her and Jennifer while I was in town. The place filled up with people and I gave a really strong performance. The vibe was great. I went up with The Rubberneckers during their set and we kicked ass and brought down the house during the two Old 97s songs. So fun! The Rubberneckers finished out the night to a dancing crowd. At the Pearl Lounge show, I lost some t-shirts, a guitar stand and a camera case. But I found the girl of my dreams. For months I've been trying to manifest the perfect mate by visualizing and other techniques, imagining strongly that I was already with her and being thankful for that, picturing in my mind and with emotion the kind of woman I hoped to be with. Afterward, I met a lovely woman who had come up to the front during my set – I had noticed her immediately and was strongly attracted. I went straight up to her after I left the stage. We talked briefly, then again at the end of the evening. I watched her throughout the night, thinking she was the woman of my dreams, but not knowing if she was available. I was stunned and delighted when she called me the next day out of the blue (after tracking down my number somehow on the internet) and left a message for me while I was in Seattle on the next leg of the tour. After a great time with my friend Steffon in the Seattle area and a fun house concert there, I passed back through Humboldt and spent a couple days with her. We realized how strongly we felt about each other, and that's the beginning of the story. She had been there that night to see the Rubberneckers – thanks guys! Needless to say, Humboldt County has been very, very good to me!! Being on the road for a couple weeks made me realize a couple things. One is that I feel at home in LA, San Francisco or Humboldt County, or at my friend's in Seattle. Once you understand who you are and are doing what you're supposed to be doing, home becomes something that's inside you wherever you go. The second thing probably helps me feel at home in these different places, and that is, there is a lot of love out there if you're open to it, and if you project it first. I went on the tour to pour myself out, to play my heart out and give my time and talent, thoughts and inspiration, anything I had to the people and places I encountered. What you send out comes back to you. The universe is a mirror. We attract what we think about. Our thoughts become things. My purpose was to give love, and the amount of love I got back in return was far greater. Some people see hostility or suspicion or at least apathy when they venture forth. They expect that, and they project that and that's what they get. Give no thought to the problems or obstacles. Give no energy to the negative thoughts and events. Dwell upon what you are grateful for and what you want, and give everything you have with as much joy as you can, and that will be your life experience. I have troubles and doubts and fears in my life, but they are no longer my focus. I focus upon the good, upon the desired, upon the love and joy I want in my life and in the world, and that has become my reality and grows stronger each day. Each of us, individually, by creating our own reality, will transform the world. We have the power to do it through our thoughts. That's how it's done: one person at a time. And the only person you need to change is you. Wishing love and joy to you in your life, Robert KTG April 2007 WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT? Deciding what we want in life is our primary job as human beings. If I don't know what I want, I don't have much chance of getting it, do I? If we really want something, want to achieve something, want to become something, we must be clear about what that is. This is the first step, and it is ironically where many people are tripped up before they even begin. Becoming clear about what we want and who we are is the most important thing to do, because once we're living the life we're supposed to live, once we start to become the person we really are deep down inside (the real "I," not one created for appearances), then everything in our life will begin to fall in place. And that means, you'll be with the people that you're supposed to be with (whether friends, lovers, business associates) and have a positive effect on, or some would say be a blessing to, their lives. And when you're doing what you're supposed to be doing vocationally, artistically, business-wise, etc. you will have the maximum positive benefit on everyone around you. Then, your life will be full of meaning and purpose, and meaningless problems that previously plagued you (meaningless because they benefited no one and simply sapped your energy) will turn into meaningful challenges that will energize you and bring a powerful, joyful flow to your life. Only by becoming who you truly are will you become a true blessing to others and to the world. And how do we find out who we truly are? Of course we can become inspired by our environment, and by others setting an example for us (as I was by musicians and artists when I was very young). But when it comes down to it, the answers we seek wait in silence. We must take time to get away from all of the noise and distraction of modern life, and to be alone in silence so that we can come to know our true voice that lies deep within us. Meditating a few minutes every day can change your life. Charles Haanel, in The Master Key System, talks about how we are all part of the Universal Mind (rather like Carl Jung's Collective Unconscious idea), which some would call God. He says that all ideas, all inventions, all power lies waiting for any of us who will take the time to tap into this. He equates the power directly with love, but the idea is too involved to explain here. You can read The Master Key System at this link (it was written in 1910 and is now public domain): http://www.psitek.net/pages/PsiTekTMKSContents.html Whether or not I believe everything Charles Haanel says, there are very powerful tools and ideas there that have helped me. But don't take my word for it. As the site says, "Rumor has it that while he was attending Harvard University, Bill Gates discovered and read The Master Key System. It was this book that inspired Bill Gates to drop out of the University and pursue his dream of "a computer on every desktop." You probably know the results. . . It is Silicon Valley's secret that almost every entrepreneur who made a fortune in recent years did so by studying the words Mr. Haanel penned over eighty years ago! Almost every millionaire and billionaire in the Valley read The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel." I've come to realize in my own life that the true battle is in my mind. All of the rushing around and work I do only have effect if they flow from positive ideas and beliefs I've created and come to believe in my mind. Otherwise, they lead to little success and often frustration. Before you can have or be something, you must be clear about what it is, then you must believe it is already yours with all of your mind and emotion – with as much mental and emotional belief as you can summon, then release it and be happy and grateful for the life you have each day. Give no thought at all to the obstacles or difficulties when you do this mental work, but think only of the ideal, knowing that it exists already as potential and is within your grasp, and a way will be made. Powerful forces will move and life will become a wonderful flow as opposed to a constant struggle. Personally, my life has tipped from a willful struggle to one of free-flowing engagement. It is a wonderful feeling. You can be anything you want to be, but you first have to find out what that is. That's where the fun begins. Finally, in the words of Jack Kerouac: And if you don't like the tone of my poems You can go jump in the lake. I have been empowered to lay my hand On your shoulder and remind you That you are utterly free, Free as empty space. You don't have to be famous, don't have to be perfect, Don't have to work, don't have to marry, Don't have to carry burdens, don't have to gnaw & kneel March 2007 KILL FEAR AND DOUBT A really sweet girl I've been dating for a couple weeks just decided to move to Barcelona (no, it wasn't because of me). She had visited the city before and last weekend just realized it was something she always really wanted to do, so, she's going to do it. Just like that? Yes, just like that. Many times we come up with all kinds of very reasonable sounding excuses and reasons as to why we shouldn't do certain things we deep-down have always wanted to do. But the truth is, if you really want to do something, "how" is not that important. What's important is to become clear about what you truly, deeply desire in your life and then go after it. All the "hows" will work themselves out, often in ways you could never have planned or imagined. Joseph Campbell said, "Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before." What's really stopping us from our dreams is ourselves. The more we stay in our comfort zone, the more fear begins to rule our lives, and the doubts and fears we have grow in power over us. Voices inside our heads (whether from parents, people around us, the media, etc.) tell us all the reasons we can't do what we want to do, can't be who we want to be. But the truth is, those voices are no more valid than the ones that say we can. So, it's up to us to decide what voices we're going to listen to, daily. And you have to be merciless, especially at first. You must kill all fear and doubt. And you also have to cast off their twisted cousin, cynicism. If you hold on to the comfort of cynicism to avoid disappointment and pain, or even worse, to look cool, you're only hurting yourself. So, be careful what voices you listen to, whether on the outside or in your head. Live in the moment daily, and be aware of your thoughts and the stories you're telling yourself. If you change those stories, change those voices, then you will change your life. I struggle daily with fear and doubt in various areas of my life. But for the last two years I have been changing the stories and voices in my head, and the results have been incredible, not only in the outward manifestation of a different life, but a different level of peace and enjoyment of my life. So, when the idea of doing a solo tour came into my head, just like my friend moving to Barcelona, I just decided to do it. Scheduling it hasn't been effortless, but many doors have opened to make the tour possible. Although there are still some holes in the schedule, I'm more excited than afraid to see how those things will work themselves out. And I keep trying to tip the emotion of fear to excitement instead as I stretch the boundaries of my comfort zone. I just have to keep mercilessly killing fear and doubt, every day. Eventually, I hope their voices will be dim and distant compared to the voices of courage, power and joy. I hope the same for you. 2.15.07 TIMELESS According to the latest theory (and some ancient texts), time is only a perception created by our minds so that we can function in our physical universe. There really is no past or future, there is only this moment, only now. What we perceive as the passage of time is actually a series of moments, like frames in a movie that, once put together, create what appears to be a sequence of events. This was illustrated for me recently when an old college friend whom I had not spoken to in years contacted me. He invited me to visit him and his family in Puget Sound for his wife's birthday party. When I arrived, he picked me up at the Seattle airport, and within minutes, twenty years distance simply disappeared, and we were again close friends. It was as if we had never lost contact. And in a way, we hadn't. What we had perceived as passage of time was really just a series of moments, many nows, which could be put in any order. And that's how it felt. One moment we were hanging out at Washington University in St. Louis, the next we were together on Puget Sound. Being in contact again made me very happy. It brought back some of my faith in friendship that had been tainted by people who claimed to be friends but weren't and by my own misplaced expectations in certain relationships (our language needs a word in between friend and acquaintance). This was something I hadn't expected, and it's been a delight to again be in touch with my close friend. If there is someone in your past that you cared for and miss, I would encourage you to make the effort to contact them. You might find that no time has passed at all. As for the birthday party at my friend's house, it was probably the most amazing party I've ever been to in my life. But that's something I'll leave for next time… 1.24.07 SINGLE IN SILVER LAKE I'm sitting here in my Silver Lake guesthouse writing this update and listening to Vanessa Daou's first album Zipless. I have no wondrous news except for the fact that I'm alive and healthy and whole, and I suppose that kind of news is wondrous enough if you have the awareness to receive it. And that's what I'm busy at: staying aware and awake and living in the now with whatever I do as well as I can, trying to stay open to whatever life has to offer, sharing whatever beauty and truth I have, and hopefully growing at least a little bit in loving-kindness, which the world needs so much. I'm about three-quarters of the way through my first draft of my first novel, and I hope to tell more about that as it comes to completion. I am pondering doing some music as a type of soundtrack or songs inspired by the story, but at this point I don't even want to give away the snappy title (it's necessary to protect the child for a bit longer before releasing it into the world). I'll just say that it deals with a guy and a girl, San Francisco, tasty cocktails, love, the nature of reality, time travel, non-normal states of consciousness, that sort of thing. Working from home as I do, writing, promoting, designing, I get to spend quite a bit of time with myself. And as much as I am into the adventure of self- discovery (meditating, doing breathwork therapy, reading) and need a fair amount of time alone to create, I have to say: I've really had plenty of my own company to last awhile. Plenty. Really. Being single, I did the online dating thing for years, but no more for me thank-you-very-much. Can an offline boy find love in an online world? I'm guess I'm going to find out… 12.6.06 SYNCHRONICITY IN SILVER LAKE Some of you know that I recently moved to the Silver Lake area of Los Angeles, which is one of the most magical places I've ever been. It looks a bit more like Berkeley than LA, and there's a strange clash of civilization and nature going on. I live in a guesthouse on top of a hill with a distant view of downtown LA on one side and Hollywood on the other, but I'm surrounded by greenery and hills. I'm only three blocks from busy Sunset Blvd., yet I've seen coyotes roaming the streets on about half a dozen occasions since coming here! Like I said, magical. And even more magical... Since moving here I've had some amazing moments of synchronicity (strange coincidences), unlike any I've experienced before. Apart from working on music, I've been working on a novel and a series of connected short stories. Since coming to Silver Lake I've encountered five elements of my fiction manifesting themselves in "real life" after I'd written about them. I've also had two brief dreams that came true the day I dreamt them. These experiences and a lot of the reading I've been doing about the latest ideas in quantum physics have really changed my view of the world and reality. If you're curious about such things, I'd recommend checking out Michael Talbot's The Holographic Universe or the movie What the Bleep Do We Know. For something a bit heavier: Joseph Campbell, the works of C.J. Jung (especially his Archetypes of the Collective Unconscious), David Deutsch's The Fabric of Reality and Michio Kaku's Parallel Worlds. If anyone else has had strange experiences of synchronicity, I'd love to hear about them. Just drop me an email. 8.11.06 I was at my local grocery store this evening. The owner had his 10 year-old son working the cash register, which he did quite efficiently and in a friendly manner. I joked with the owner that soon he could just go fishing and have his son working for him. He told me that his son was doing such a good job that day that he told his son he was going to pay him extra. His son told his dad that, instead, he didn't want to be paid at all that day because he was having such a good time working with him. There's hope for the future. 8.7.06 It's a time of change for me and for Kiss the Girl, a time of new awareness, possibilities, opportunities. I've become aware recently (not only intellectually, but finally, emotionally) that we can have a strong effect on shaping our reality through our thoughts, decisions and actions. Part of this awareness has prompted me to move Kiss the Girl's base of operations to Los Angeles. We'll still be doing some recording and mixing in San Francisco, but I'll be relocating to LA to take advantage of the music industry there. After only three days of searching for an apartment (and focusing my emotions and thoughts on visualizing and manifesting that reality) I found a fantastic place in the Silver Lake district, which is the center of the music/arts scene in LA! I'll miss beautiful San Francisco, but I am very happy about the move and the new opportunities that will await me and Kiss the Girl. Before I leave, I'll be playing doing one last solo acoustic performance in San Francisco; so if you're in the area, please come out and say hello and goodbye. It's for a great cause... Thanks, Szeles 6.29.06 Yikes. Been a long time since my last entry, but there's good reason: most of my time apart from getting the album ready for release has been taken up working on a novel. So, I've been writing, just not here! I can't say much, except it's a kind of romance/mystery/sci-fi story set in San Francisco. I'm about halfway finished with the first draft, so there's still a lot of writing to do. Emotionally, writing is quite a rollercoaster, not unlike the creative process with music. One minute I'm inspired and excited by it, even exhilarated, the next I'm discouraged (though this happens less with music since I have more experience with that). Anyone who has seriously been involved in a creative process knows that must be gone through. I do have more to say on this and other topics, and I've got quite a backlog of writing not connected with the novel, so I'll be posting more regularly. No...really! 9.21.05 We're getting down to the wire on the album. Only weeks away from being finished, and there are still some important decisions to make. For instance, we still haven't settled on a name for the album. So, if you're reading this, check out our sound samples if you're not already familiar with our music, and if you come up with a good idea for our album title, please email us at info@kissthegirlmusic.com. If we use your title idea, we'll give you a free, autographed copy of the album when it comes out. I'm sure everyone's heard and read enough about the tragedy in New Orleans. So, I'll only say, I'm sorry I never visited the famous historic city before this happened, except through Anne Rice's novels. It was supposedly an amazing place; hopefully it will be again. 8.11.05 I've been too busy living life to write about it. Jaime and I are hard at work in the studio trying to finish our new album, tentatively titled To Turn You On. In fact, we're in the studio again for the next two days working on the song of the same name. Between doing that, planning a spring college tour, spending time making friends and fans on myspace.com/kissthegirlmusic, promoting and just living life to the hilt, I've had a hard time getting to this journal. I've made some interesting new friends on myspace from all over the world: Australia, Chile, Rome, Rochester NY, Ohio, Florida, you name it. Interesting people with interesting stories to tell. But it can feel pretty isolating when most of your communication with the world is through a computer. I'm happy when I'm able to get away and go have a drink at a bar or go to the movies or just get out for a hike - which I did just the other day with my friend, Steve. I just had to get out of the freakin' fog (typical San Francisco summer, though I must say, worse than usual. Still, how can I complain when the rest of the country is boiling?). We drove up to Mount Tamalpais, just half an hour across the Golden Gate Bridge. We emerged from the fog right as we were crossing the bridge, and the weather on the mountain was incredible: about 85 degrees, completely clear with a nice coolness in the shade. We had a great hike, and the sunshine revived me, and I carried the memory of that sun and blue sky with me back to the foggy Inner Sunset where I dwell. Tomorrow, downtown, no doubt it will be sunny and beautiful, but Jaime and I will only see the light of the studio lights, the led displays and the glow of the monitor as we continue working on our newest release which we can't wait to share with the whole world. So, sacrificing a few days of sunshine will be well worth it. We hope when you hear it, you'll agree. Enjoy the sun, stay cool - -R- 6.1.05 It was great to see democracy in action when I headed down to City Hall with my friend, Paul, to defend the right of a local bar to have live music. I didn't plan on speaking,but realized I had to when I saw the small number of residents who lived near the bar lining up to speak against the bar. Most of the complaints had to do with noise or drunken behavior. I spoke about the importance of live music for San Francisco, something that has suffered terribly the last few years. Many bands moved to Portland, LA or elsewhere due to the shrinking number of venues or lack of support for live music in the area. I then addressed the absurdity of people complaining about noise when they have chosen to live next to or upstairs from a bar that has had live music since the early 70's, while they have only lived there less than ten years. As for the drunkeness, that's not the result of the music, it's the result of booze, and that would happen anyway. I respect people's right to some peace and quiet, but choosing to live near a bar is not the way to get it. C'mon, this is the city, people!! It already pisses me off that you can't have a drink after 2 am or find more than a handful of restaurants open later than midnight. We're supposed to be a cultural metropolitan city. It doesn't have to be like NYC, but there's plenty of support for a more thriving nightlife. It's about the only thing I don't like about this city I love, San Francisco, except for the weak music scene (I don't mean lack of good bands - there are a fair amount - I mean the lack of support for venues and musicians). Well, we'll keep working on it. The live music license was granted - so democracy can work! But I have to say, I was disappointed to see none of the bands who actually play at the bar make an appearance. Democracy only works if we take part in it. And the same goes for a live music scene. So, get out there, people! -R- 5.24.05 Bono vs. Greg Kot I recently read an article by Greg Kot of the Chicago Tribune, where he decries U2's latest tendency toward product endorsement and their apparent lack of musical freshness and risk-taking. He interviews Bono, as the singer was upset by these observations and wanted to explain his side of things. Bono's explanations were, as always, a mixture of brilliance and bullshit. I've always admired U2, both their music and what they do with social activism. But I do agree with Greg Kot that their best album was Achtung Baby, and I don't think their music has been sounding very fresh lately (though I do like Vertigo). I also agree that even Pop had some interesting things on it, more so than their recent music. In fact, judging by Kot's opinion of what he believes to be U2's strongest period, he might be better off looking to other groups that are creating melodic rock that has a fresh and innovative sound, including some groups that don't presently have a huge corporation propping them up. Groups like, I don't know, maybe Kiss the Girl. Hey, I'm just sayin'... To read Greg Kot's article, click here. -R- 5.16.05 Where were you eight months ago? I ask myself that same question and realize the many changes that have happened to me and to Kiss the Girl since last September. Maybe it’s been the same for you. I’ve had my heart badly broken and bounced back stronger, faced and overcame some difficult situations, lost a couple friends and gained at least a couple new ones. Maybe, like me, you have something consistent in your life that’s always there despite any changes or hardships. For me, music is that thing. And I process all of these experiences and express how they’ve affected me emotionally in Kiss the Girl songs. Whatever else the songs may or may not be, they are at least a partial journal of my experiences and feelings. And we all share the same experiences and emotions: love, loss, hope fear, joy, despair, desire. So, I think you’ll be moved by our new songs. And the new grooves Jaime and I are creating may make you move as well. Please check out the sound samples and let us know what you think. We hope they give you some joy or comfort, or at the very least, entertain. More than anything, we hope they’ll make you feel more alive. And we’d love to hear from you, and hear the stories you’ve lived in the last 8 months. Thanks for listening! Robert